The Long Goodbye
by Stiffanie
Summary: Love means knowing when to let go, and when to reach out for your heart's desire.
1. The Long Goodbye - Part 1: Akane

The Long Goodbye - Part 1: Akane  The Long Goodbye   
Part 1: Akane   
By [Stiffanie Flores][1] and Restless Heart   
Homepage: [http://www.angelfire.com/sd/Ranmafanfic/][2]  


Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 and all its characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi.   
  


**** 

A big, empty void. 

That was what her life had become. 

Her eyes were distant as she stared out the window of the bus, watching as the people and buildings sped by in a blur in front of her eyes. Finally, summer break was over, and she was going back to school. Back to college. 

Not that she didn't want to see her family. Her family missed her and often demanded that she come home more often, but school was so far away that she'd had to live on campus, and that meant she could come back to Nerima only in the summer when school let out. But she had deliberately chosen a school far away from home. There were just too many painful memories in store for her here. 

It was bad enough, those last two years of high school, when she would wander the streets of Nerima and see reflections of him everywhere she looked. At that time, she had been frantic to get away from Nerima. She just needed a break, she'd assured herself, so that she could put the memories behind her. Then, she could come back, and not feel the searing emptiness whenever she saw the familiar sights of her hometown. 

That had been three years ago. After a year in college, where she had busied herself with schoolwork and some extra-curricular activities, she'd thought she was finally over him. She'd even been looking forward to coming home for the summer. She'd missed her family. 

But as she'd walked up the street and stepped up to the Tendo dojo, the memories had come crashing over her like a tidal wave. She hadn't forgotten him at all. She'd only been keeping herself so busy that she'd had no time to think about him anymore, but he was still there, still in her mind and in her heart, and the hole in her heart was no closer to being healed. 

This year was no exception. Even after five years, thinking of him and how he had left her still brought her the same sense of utter desolation. Even in her own home, memories assaulted her - memories of her chasing him through the halls, studying with him in her room, or watching him sparring with his father before breakfast... 

But this year, it was different. Somehow, it was even worse. Because this year, Kasumi had finally married Dr. Tofu. 

She was happy for her sister. No one had thought that Dr. Tofu would finally get over his nervousness enough to propose marriage to Kasumi. But he had. Theirs was a long and steady relationship, but it had taken a couple of years before Kasumi finally felt ready to leave her family, so that she could pursue her own happiness with Dr. Tofu. 

There was a time when she had fancied herself in love with the young doctor, but now, with age's wisdom, she knew that it was just a child's adulation for a wiser, older man. Those were foolish times, those days, for she hadn't really known what it was like to be in love until it was too late. 

It really was pathetic, she thought. She'd had to watch him walk away, out of her life, before she finally realized that she'd loved him. By then, it was too late. 

But even if it hadn't been, would it have mattered? 

She sighed. Dealing with the ghosts of her past was always difficult, but this time... Maybe it was because of the wedding. Maybe it was because her sister seemed so happy. Maybe it was envy at the ease with which Dr. Tofu and Kasumi's relationship had progressed. 

If only it had been that easy between her and Ranma... 

The bus steered towards the train station and slowed to a stop. Akane got to her feet and slung her backpack over her shoulder, and got off the bus along with the other passengers. 

She walked briskly through the station, working her way through small crowds of people. An elderly woman, tears running down her cheeks as she hugged a young man holding a suitcase. A child's voice, shouting "Daddy!" And a man, briefcase in hand, arms held out to embrace the little boy. 

The train station - the stage of real-life, human drama. For countless hours she'd spent here, waiting to board her train, she'd witnessed more emotionally-charged moments in here than in any soap opera she'd ever watched - tearful goodbyes, joyous reunions... 

But Akane... she was always alone. She preferred to say her goodbyes at home and make her way to the station by herself. Not that any goodbye from her family could possibly be more devastating than... 

No, she was not going to think about *that* again, she told herself. Akane took a seat beside a well-dressed woman in her late thirties. She put her backpack down beside her feet and pulled a thin paperback novel from the bag. A quick glance at her wristwatch told her that she had almost another hour to wait before her train would arrive. 

Fifteen minutes later, she set the novel down with a defeated sigh. There was no way she could concentrate on anything right now. The trip home always did this to her, and the journey back to school was invariably the worst. Specifically, the minutes she spent in the train station, as she watched people of different ages exchange tearful goodbyes. There were heartfelt apologies, promises to write, a final embrace before they parted... Here, the sense of sadness hung over them like a thick cloud. Here, more than in any other place, the memory of his farewell always came back to haunt her. 

*I can't marry you, Akane...* 

*I guess I'll never see you again. Goodbye.* 

A familiar heavy feeling settled in her heart, but there were no tears in her eyes - she'd cried them all, during the next few days after his departure. After that, she'd gathered her resolve and picked up the remains of her life, and resumed her life where she'd left it off, but life was so much different, without Saotome Ranma in it. So... normal. So... empty... 

Wishes do come true, she thought. How many times had she wished she'd never laid eyes on Saotome Ranma? He used to make her so angry, and she'd hit him over his head, shouting... 

"Baka!" 

Akane's head snapped up, surprised by the sharp tone in the female voice. She automatically turned her head in the direction of the voice, and she saw a young couple, obviously in disagreement. 

"If you're too stubborn to listen to reason, then I give up!" the young man exploded, glaring angrily at the young woman in front of him. 

"Are you implying that it's my fault?" the girl snapped, her eyes blazing. 

The guy threw up his hands. "Maybe!" 

"Bastard! I never want to see you again!" The girl swung her hand and slapped the man soundly. 

*SLAP!* 

The sound of it brought another memory to Akane, one that had changed her life irrevocably. 

**** 

"I-I'm sorry, Ranma." 

"I understand," he said softly, avoiding her gaze. "I won't bother you anymore. Goodbye, Akane.." 

Just like that, he left. 

**** 

How could he do that? How could he just turn around and leave her forever, and forget everything they had been through together? How could he bear to push her out of his life, just like that? 

Akane felt tears sting her eyes briefly. Odd, she hadn't cried over *this* in years... 

Oh gods, she'd loved him so much! How could he not love her? 

Akane bent forward and buried her face in her hands. Oh, if she could just go back in time, go back and do that one thing over again... if only things had been different... 

... if Shinnosuke hadn't been so sick... 

... if Ranma hadn't pushed him into a fight... 

... if she hadn't seen the raw brutality blazing in his eyes, if Shinnosuke hadn't fainted, if she hadn't rushed forward in a blind panic, slapped him, trying desperately to keep him from hurting Shinnosuke... 

She remembered the feel of the wind lapping against her face, remembered feeling the blood pulsing in her veins as she ran... drawing back her arm, feeling her hand crash into Ranma's face... 

She remembered the stricken look on his face, the way his eyes widened, his entire body frozen in midstep... He'd taken much worse from her before, they both knew it, but as she'd watched his eyes blank out, shutting her out completely, she had known with a certainty that no other blow she'd landed on him hurt him as much as this one had... 

She remembered the blank look in his eyes, as he'd said goodbye... remembered watching him leave, tears welling in her eyes... She'd wanted to go after him, try to soothe the aching pain he'd been trying to hide behind a blank stare... more than anything else, she'd wanted to tell him the truth, but he hadn't let her, he'd left just like that, and there was no way she could have gone after him, leaving Shinnosuke alone and unconscious... 

... if only she hadn't let him go like that, with an awful misunderstanding between them... 

If only... 

... if... only... 

**** 

"I'm home!" 

Akane looked around her. The house seemed so... quiet. Where was everybody? 

She started to head up the stairs to her room. From behind, she heard footsteps coming up to her. 

"Akane?" 

She turned. Her sisters were standing behind her. Akane managed a wan smile. "Hey sis," she said. "I'm back." 

Kasumi gave her a warm smile. "I'm glad you're home, Akane," she told her. 

Akane looked at her middle sister. Nabiki was looking at her with an odd glint in her eyes. "What?" she said defensively. 

"Where were you?" Nabiki asked. 

"I left a note," Akane began. "I went to Ryu..." 

Nabiki waved a hand dismissively. "I know that. But what took you this long? Ranma's already home." 

Akane's eyes widened at that. "He is? Excuse me, I..." 

"Akane." 

Perhaps it was the gentle insistence in her sister's voice, or the vague trace of anxiety she'd sensed since stepping through the door of her own home. Whatever it was, despite Akane's desire to find Ranma right away, she turned. 

Both her sisters were watching her solemnly. "What?" Akane asked, unnerved by their combined stares. 

"Did something happen in Ryugenzawa?" Nabiki asked. 

"He... uh..." She felt her face flush. "Nothing happened!" 

"Oh yeah?" Nabiki crossed her arms over her chest, surveying the rosy blush creeping up Akane's cheeks. "Whatever it was, it must have been pretty heavy." 

"Look, nothing happened, okay?" Akane insisted. "There was a little... misunderstanding. But I'm on my way to fix that right now." She turned to start up the staircase. 

"Akane, wait." Kasumi's eyes were filled with concern. "Akane, Ranma's leaving." 

Her eyes widened, her hand gripping the banister. "What?! But why?" 

Nabiki nodded. "He just came back himself. Daddy and Uncle Saotome are out shopping. Ranma just came in and announced he's leaving tonight, and then he went upstairs to his room. He's still there." 

Akane felt a tremor run through her body. "I have to talk to him." Without another word, she turned and dashed up the stairs. 

Her sisters looked at each other. "What do you suppose that was about?" Nabiki wondered aloud. 

**** 

After depositing her things in her room, Akane crossed the hall to Ranma's room. The door was closed, but she heard the sounds of movement from inside the room. She knocked once, softly. 

There was no answer. After a moment's hesitation, she slid the door open. 

Ranma was sitting in the center of the room. His backpack lay open in front of him, and Akane watched him pick up a couple of Chinese shirts and stuff them into the bag. 

Turning slowly, she slid the door closed behind her, and turned back to look at Ranma. He didn't even turn around, or acknowledge her presence. But he knew she was there - she was sure of it. 

"Ranma?" she tried again. 

This time, he paused. Without turning, he said, "Yeah?" 

Encouraged by his reply, she stepped closer to him. "Kasumi said you were leaving?" 

"Yeah." 

Somehow, hearing it from him brought a ring of finality to the words. Akane struggled for the right words. "But- but why?" 

Finally, he turned. Akane looked into his eyes, shadowed by his dark bangs, and tried a different tack. "Why did you come to Ryugenzawa, Ranma?" 

If he was surprised by the change of topics, he didn't show it. He shrugged. "Your dad asked me to." 

*Bullied him into it is more like it,* Akane thought, but she kept the thought to herself. Instead, she said, "Did you leave after I... I... that is, I..." She felt her cheeks warm with color. 

He glanced at her, his eyes expressionless. "After you hit me?" 

She reddened. She'd hit him countless times before, but somehow, this seemed different. "Yes." 

"Yeah." He turned. 

The little niggling doubt in Akane's heart came to mind, and she voiced it. "Did you... I mean, is it because of Shinnosuke?" 

He didn't reply, but Akane thought she saw the telltale tensing of his shoulders. Akane's heart swelled with tenderness. "Ranma-" she said breathlessly. 

"No." 

Akane blinked, surprised. "What?" 

He turned again to face her. "No," he repeated. "Of course not. Why would you think that?" 

She stared at him, her eyes widening. "Ranma..." 

"I thought about a lot of things, on my way home," Ranma said, almost casually. "It was high-time we did that, right, Akane? Really sat down and thought about what we really wanted." 

He looked at her, but she just stared at him silently, so he continued, "And I decided I had the right to choose how I want to live my life, who I want to marry. And I wanted all of us to have that freedom. After all, it's not fair to let all you girls to put your lives on hold while waiting for me to make a decision, right?" 

*No,* Akane thought mindlessly, as she stared at him, her eyes disbelieving. *He couldn't be... Oh gods, please, no...* 

He looked up at her. "I've decided to break the engagements. All of them," he added hastily. 

"All of them?" Akane repeated numbly. 

"Yeah," he said softly. "Shampoo, and Kodachi, and -" His eyes closed for a moment. "And Ucchan, too. I owe it to all of you girls, to tell you myself." 

"But why? Why all of a sudden?" 

"It's not all of a sudden," he said quietly. "I've thought about it for a long time. This... it isn't fair, not to any one of us. I have no right to tie you down to me, Akane, not when you - *we* - have always protested our engagement." His voice lowered. "And especially not now, when I would get in the way of your happiness with Shinnosuke. I have no right to ask that of you." 

*Oh God,* Akane thought. *He really does think...* 

"I'll talk to our dads," he told her. "I'll make it clear it was *my* choice. I'm sure it'll all work out." He started to get up. 

"Wait." The word escaped from her lips, almost like a prayer for help. Akane closed her eyes. Her heartbeat thundered in her ears, her mind filled with a whirl of mixed emotions. She had sometimes daydreamed about what it would be like, when she and Ranma finally sat down and talked about their future. But this was nothing like she'd ever imagined. 

There were so many things to tell him. He thought she was in love with *Shinnosuke*?! He was breaking their engagement?! And then, he was going to leave, he was going to walk out of her life forever... 

In her heart, Akane knew she had to stop him. What would her life be without Ranma? What would happen to all her dreams of their future, of spending their entire lives together? What would happen to all the things they'd do together, all the things they'd mean to each other? 

How could she let him leave like this, with an awful misunderstanding between them? How could she let him leave, without knowing that she... she... How could she ever tell him now?! 

But she knew one thing - she had to stop him. How would she ever get the chance to tell him the truth, if he walked out of her life forever? 

She opened her eyes, and Ranma was still standing, staring at her with a concerned look in his eyes. Akane took a deep breath. 

"Ranma, you don't have to leave," Akane said finally. "I understand about... about everything you said. You're right, it is time we worked out this mess." 

"You do?" 

"Yes," she said, her voice rising in desperation. "I'll help you talk with our dads - it's only fair. We... we'll tell them we don't want to get married. And then you can work it out with Shampoo and Ukyou and Kodachi. But you don't have to leave," she repeated. "You can still stay here. Nothing has to change. We'll still go to school together, we can be ... we'll just be friends." 

"Friends?" echoed Ranma. 

"Friends," Akane repeated. "Just friends, without having to worry about rivals, fiancees, pushy parents... In fact, we're already friends now, aren't we?" 

"Why are you doing this, Akane?" he asked her, softly. 

"You don't have to leave," she insisted. "Our engagements are too much to handle right now - I can accept that. But..." Her voice lowered to a whisper. "Can't you let me hope, that someday... maybe, someday..." She trailed off, as she looked at him, trying to smile, her eyes imploring. 

He stared back, his eyes infinitely sad. "I... I can't marry you, Akane." 

The smile slid from her face. "Oh." Akane closed her eyes. This was, above all, her worst nightmare. He'd probably met someone else, she thought dazedly. She'd always taken for granted that Ranma would choose her one day, that they will live happily ever after. She'd always thought they had all the time in the world. Now she'd lost him, and she didn't even get the chance to fight for him. 

She fought down the lump in her throat. *I will not cry,* she thought. 

"I'm sorry," he said softly. 

"Don't be." She tried to smile again. She was probably a glutton for punishment, but... She wanted to know. "Are you in love with anyone else?" 

"Does it matter?" 

She shook her head. "No. No, of course not. You're right, of course. We should all be free to choose." That was it, then, she thought. He didn't love her, he had never loved her. But he was still looking at her with *that* look in his eyes, just like a kicked puppy, and even though he didn't love her and he'd just broken her heart, idiot that she was, she hated seeing him sad. She wanted him to be happy. 

Even if his happiness was not with her. 

"So," she said, breaking the awkward silence. "I guess this is goodbye." She held out her hand. 

He clasped her hand tightly. "Goodbye," he repeated. 

She let her fingers curl around his hand, and she held it for a moment longer, refusing to think of how perfectly her hand fit in his. And then she forced herself to let go. 

**** 

They went down the stairs together, just like strangers walking beside each other down a hall. The talk with their fathers was uneventful. As expected, Soun and Genma put up a fight, but even they knew they never really had a chance. In the end, the entire family stood outside the front gate, to say their final goodbyes. 

"Take care, Ranma," Kasumi said, as she pushed a wrapped box into his hands. "I made you some lunch for your trip." 

"Thanks, Kasumi," he said, smiling at her. 

"Gee, tough guy, what about all the money you owe me?" Nabiki asked. 

He snorted. "You'll earn it back with all the pictures you're selling of me." 

"True." Nabiki smirked. "Especially with the money we'll be saving without you and your friends wrecking our house." 

"I don't know why you're in such a hurry to leave," Genma grumbled. "An old man needs his rest." 

"I ain't asking you to come, old man," Ranma told him. "Behave yourself, and..." A look of sadness flitted across his face. "And look after Mom, okay?" Genma shut up at the mention of his wife. 

Ranma shook Soun's hand. "Thanks, Mr. Tendo." 

"You're always welcome in our home, son," he told Ranma. "Engaged or not, you're part of the family now." 

Ranma smiled. "Thanks." Finally, he came to Akane. He looked at her and smiled, and Akane thought her heart would break. *Don't smile at me like that,* she thought silently. *Don't make this harder for me, please.* 

"Thank you, Akane," he said simply. 

She swallowed past the lump in her throat. "You're welcome." What else could she possibly say? "Take care." 

"You, too." 

With one last look, he turned and walked away, and Akane stared after him, until he turned the corner and disappeared from her life forever. He didn't even turn around for a last look. 

Finally, she crumpled to the ground, her entire body shaking with sobs. 

**** 

"Gate 3 now boarding... Passengers, please proceed to gate 3..." 

The loud voice from the speakers jolted Akane from her memories. After a quick look at her watch, she stood up and hoisted her bag over her shoulder. 

There was no use thinking about *that* again, she told herself, blinking back the wetness in her eyes. She'd cried more than enough tears for him. Once, she'd thought she'd never live through a day without him. But days had stretched into weeks, and finally, years... It was long past time to move on with her life. 

She sighed heavily. If only it was that easy. It wasn't as if she hadn't *tried*. But no man she'd ever met had ever made her feel quite the same way as she'd once felt for Ranma. No one had even come close. 

Akane handed her ticket to the gate attendant and walked past her, going straight down the hall to Platform 3, to board her train. 

And even if she met someone she could love again, would it ever be enough? Enough to finally be able to think about Ranma, without having to feel the sting of a fresh wound? 

Love couldn't be rushed, it just happened. Akane knew that. But how long was she going to have to wait? 

Akane stood beside a crowd of teenagers, slinging her backpack off her shoulder to set it on the ground while she waited for her train. A raucous burst of laughter erupted from the group beside her, and for a moment, Akane longed again for the carefree joys of youth, without the pains of adulthood, regrets, and love lost. 

Her gaze strayed towards the crowds of people waiting to board the trains. Directly opposite her was another platform, where another train bound for a different destination was due soon. Her eyes scanned the groups of people. A young married couple with a baby. A well-dressed man carrying a suitcase. An old woman standing beside a little girl, who was holding her hand... 

A gust of wind blew past her face, and Akane ran a hand through her short hair as the train came into the station, blocking her view of the people on the opposite platform. She watched as the doors opened, and passengers got off the train, before the people waiting on the platforms began to board. 

A thin cry of a buzzer filled the air, as the doors started to close. Finally, the train started to move. Akane watched as it picked up speed, and sped steadily down the tracks, leaving behind only the sound of faint whir of its engines. 

Beside her, some people shifted impatiently, looking at their watches. Their train was a little delayed, it seemed. But Akane was in no hurry. School wouldn't be starting until tomorrow morning. She let her gaze stray back to the crowd, wondering if there was someone else in this crowd who knew the pain of heartbreak and love lost, as she did. 

A pretty woman checking her makeup in a compact... A stooped old man, wearing an old fishing hat on his head... A young man in a sharp sports jacket, the sunlight glinting on his dark glasses... Another young man, with his back turned to her, a huge backpack slung effortlessly over his shoulders... He was wearing pants, and a... black Chinese shirt... 

Akane felt the blood drain from her face. Around her, the murmur of voices faded to background noise. 

... thick dark hair, pulled back in a pigtail which fell past his shoulders... 

"Ranma?" 

As if he had heard her, he looked up... and their eyes met across the tracks. 

Time seemed to screech to a halt. Even the people around them, the sound of their voices, seemed to fade away into the background. It was just the two of them, seeing each other for the first time in five years. 

And he looked so familiar, Akane thought achingly. Older, more relaxed, but there was still that confident glint in his eyes, his easy, fluid grace... 

Just then, her train came into the station, a loud, steady horn announcing its arrival. It screeched to a stop in front of her, blocking her view. Just before Ranma disappeared from her sight, she thought she saw his mouth open, calling her name... 

She craned her neck, trying to see past the bodies shifting inside the train. Someone jolted her shoulder roughly, and she stepped out of the way. 

Finally, the doors closed, and the train blasted its way out of the station. Akane quickly scanned the opposite crowd, her eyes passing quickly over the unfamiliar faces... But there was no sign of a pigtail, no Chinese shirt. Her heart felt heavy with disappointment... 

From somewhere behind her, someone called her name. Her breath caught in her throat, and she turned around, slowly, deliberately, almost afraid to hope... 

There he was, standing right in front of her. But Akane just stood there, drinking in the sight of him. His beautiful blue-gray eyes, his familiar, athletic build, radiating strength and confidence. His hair, black and unruly, hanging over his eyes... 

For five years, in her weakest moments, she'd dreamed of this, of being able to see him again, and finally tell him what he'd meant to her, what he'd *always* meant to her, all these years... Of how empty she'd felt without him, and how she'd waited for a love, a love so strong and enduring, it would completely eclipse those feelings she'd once had for him, so long ago... 

And then, he smiled... And Akane felt hope bloom in her heart. 

Maybe she wouldn't have to wait after all. 

**** 

Notes: 

This fanfic is in draft mode only. 

This story was inspired by the song "MY LOVE" By Westlife. Certain passages in this fanfic have been inspired by the ff. works: "The Shadow Chronicles," by Mark MacKinnon. 

Thanks for everyone who sent me C&C in the first draft of this story. As you've undoubtedly noticed, this fanfic is an "alternate future" concept. What if Ranma left Ryugenzawa after Akane slapped him? 

References to the Ryugenzawa arc in this story have been taken from volume 25-26 of the manga, NOT from the anime. 

More comments/explanations to come after Part 2. 

Thanks for reading. 

**** 

MY LOVE - by Westlife   
  
An empty street, an empty house, a hole inside my heart.  
I'm all alone, the rooms are getting smaller.  
I wonder how, I wonder why, I wonder where they are,  
The days we had, the songs we sang together.  
  
And all my love, I'm holding on forever,   
reaching for the love that seems so far.  
  
So I say a little prayer, and hope my dreams will take me there,  
where the skies are blue, to see you once again, my love.  
Over seas and coast to coast, to find the place I love the most,  
where the fields are green, to see you once again, my love.  
  
I try to read, I go to work, I'm laughing with my friends,  
but I can't stop to keep myself from thinking.  
I wonder how, I wonder why, I wonder where they are,  
the days we had, the songs we sang together.  
  
And all my love, I'm holding on forever,  
reaching for the love that seems so far.  
  
So I say a little prayer, and hope my dreams will take me there,  
where the skies are blue, to see you once again, my love.  
Over seas and coast to coast, to find the place I love the most,  
where the fields are green, to see you once again, my love.  
  
To hold you in my arms, to promise you my love,  
To tell you from the heart, the love I'm thinking of.  
(Reaching for the love that seems so far...)  
  
So I say a little prayer, and hope my dreams will take me there,  
where the skies are blue, to see you once again, my love.  
Over seas and coast to coast, to find the place I love the most,  
where the fields are green, to see you once again, my love.  
  
  


   [1]: mailto:stiffanie@mailcity.com
   [2]: http://www.angelfire.com/sd/Ranmafanfic/



	2. The Long Goodbye - Part 2: Ranma

The Long Goodbye - Part 2: Ranma  The Long Goodbye   
Part 2: Ranma   
By [Stiffanie Flores][1] and Restless Heart   
Homepage: [http://www.angelfire.com/sd/Ranmafanfic/][2]  


Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 and all its characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi.   
  


**** 

Five years was a long time. 

The thought rang through his mind as he leaned back on his seat, watching as the scenery passed by him in a blur. 

Five years. Five years was a sizable chunk of a lifetime. So much had changed, in the last five years. 

What about her? Was she- 

He shook the thought from his head. No, he wasn't going to think about that right now. 

But even as he told himself to stop, again he found his thoughts drifting back to her. Visions, memories of her filled his mind. There was a brief time, long ago, when he would curse the fates for torturing him with images of the one thing he knew he couldn't ever have. When he hoped he could go to China and get Shampoo to do that tsubo technique on him to erase the memories from his mind, so that he would not wake up and feel the searing emptiness in his heart, so deep that he thought he could never feel whole again, day after day after day... 

Other times, though, he knew he would rather lose a limb than give up the memories of her. Even if he had the chance to go back and do everything all over again, he would still love her, even knowing that he would lose her in the end. And he would never let go of the memories, all that he had left of a wonderful, smiling girl he had once loved. 

Ah, the days of youth, he thought to himself, a brief smile touching his lips. Five years ago, he never would have thought of admitting those same feelings for her, even just to himself. He would have been too scared - scared of what might happen, scared of the changes it would bring - to even ponder the true nature of his feelings for her. 

Now, it was all too easy to admit to himself that he'd loved her. That she was the only one he'd ever really wanted to marry. That he'd loved her so much, enough to marry her, enough to die for her, enough to... 

Enough to let her go. 

The bus came to a stop, and the passengers began filing out. Ranma stood up, hefting his huge backpack, and headed out along with the other passengers. 

In front of him, groups of people clustered together, waiting for everyone to get off before going inside the train station, to make sure that nobody got left behind. But Ranma was alone. He'd always been alone. 

His strides long and brisk, he made his way inside the train station, going straight to the ticket booth to purchase a ticket. After standing in line, he gave his money to the teller and waited until she handed him a short yellow stub. 

Over the loudspeakers, he heard the announcer say that his train had just come in the station. Walking faster, he crossed the main hall to the correct gate and shoved his ticket into the surprised attendant's hands. He made his way down to the platform just as the doors of the train opened, and passengers began to unload. 

Ranma jumped the last few steps and almost collided with an old man. Bowing a quick apology, he shifted his backpack behind him and slipped inside the train, just as the buzzer rang and the doors began to close. 

Breathing a sigh of relief, Ranma unstrapped his backpack and put it down on the floor beside him, as he took a seat beside the train doors. He pulled his backpack closer to his feet to make sure no one tripped over it accidentally, since he sat so close to the doors and people passed in front of him to get on or off the train. 

Ranma leaned back and put a hand behind his head, closing his eyes for a bit. The night before, he'd trekked all the way from the mountains down to the village below, and he was feeling a bit sleepy. His father had always said it was in sleep where one regained his ki, and aside from having three full meals a day, getting a full night's sleep was one of the most important things in the world. 

Ranma smiled to himself. Of course, that was Genma he was thinking about. Of course Genma would think that aside from eating and sleeping, nothing else was worth his time. Except for his son's training, of course, but ever since they'd come back from Jyusenkyo, his father hadn't bothered him too much about his training anymore. Not that he'd needed to, of course. Ranma kept himself well in shape, what with fighting insane martial artists in Nerima at least everyday. His eyes lit up briefly at the memory. He'd have been lucky if he didn't get wet at least once everyday. And if it wasn't that old woman with the ladle, it was Akane who splashed him, as they stood in the hall, holding buckets as detention for fighting in class. 

His smile faded. He recalled each time they fought, when he would tease her mercilessly about her cooking, or her martial arts skills. He'd teased her so much, when he knew he should have kept his mouth shut, all because he could never find the courage to tell her that he... he loved her... 

He sighed heavily and closed his eyes. There wasn't a moment that passed in the past five years when he didn't wish that he could go back and do things differently. That he could have found the courage to tell Akane how he felt, instead of hurting her over and over again with his callous insults... that he could have told her what she'd meant to him, before he lost her forever... 

But, he often wondered, would it have mattered? Sometimes, he tried to convince himself that it was better this way. What if, in desperate hopes to hold on to her, he'd told her that he loved her, and then she'd told him that she didn't love him back? It was one thing to know that she was in love with another man, rather than to hear the words from her own mouth. 

Other times, though, he cursed himself for his cowardice. For giving up without a fight. There were nights when he dreamed, of meeting Akane one day, when she'd already married and had children... and she told him tearfully that it was *him* she'd loved all along, and if only he hadn't run away and left her, it would have been *him* she'd married, his child she was carrying in her womb... 

Even now, five years later, he still wondered if he'd made the right choice. 

Ranma closed his eyes as he leaned his head back on the glass pane behind him, as the world in front of his eyes began to shift and blur, taking on a new shape, hurtling him back through time to the moment five years ago, which changed his life forever... 

**** 

His eyes unfocused, staring straight ahead. The wind hissed eerily around him, a strange presence in the air, but Ranma was mindless of it all. 

*I...I've been dumped... by Akane...* 

He recalled the soreness of his cheek, after her palm smashed into his face. He remembered just stopping dead, his body frozen in mid-motion. He remembered, despite his boneless shock, Akane staring at him, her eyes wide with shock, as she glanced at her hand, seeming unable to believe how she'd hit him... 

Then, she'd said, "I'm sorry... Hit me back." 

Feh. Like he'd have been able to hit her back. Like he'd be able to hit her, *ever*. 

He stood up and brushed the dust off his pants. *I'll go back, I guess,* he thought wearily. *When I get back, I'll go on a training trip.* 

He looked up at the sky. The giant trees swayed gently in the blowing wind, a melancholy rhythm in his ears, seeming to echo the sadness in his heart. 

*Goodbye, Akane,* he thought sadly. *I guess I'll never see you again.* 

He stood for a moment longer, staring at the sky, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders. He felt tears sting his eyes briefly, and he blinked, brushing his fingers impatiently against his eyes. 

Finally, he grabbed his backpack beside him and slung it over his shoulders, and with one last look behind him, trudged down the mountain, feeling as though he'd left his heart behind. 

**** 

Ranma raced through the woods, his heart pounding in his chest. He'd been halfway down the mountain when he'd heard a loud crash, like a mountain falling apart. When he'd turned, he'd seen a huge dragon-like head rise up into the clouds, spraying drops of water from its huge mouth. And then, to his horror, another head rose up, and another... 

Thankfully, the light spray of water hadn't been enough to trigger the curse. Without a second thought, he'd turned and run back, only one thought ringing in his mind: Akane. No way could that clumsy slowpoke tomboy take on something like this. 

*Even if you really love Shinnosuke, I'll still protect you,* he promised silently as he ran, feeling the brisk air on his face. *I won't let you die.* 

He emerged into a small clearing beside the lake, and to his horror, he saw the huge monster rise up from the water, seven heads writhing above it... No, *eight* heads! The body itself was the eighth head! 

Eyes glazed with panic, he hurriedly scanned the clearing, and unconsciously breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Akane, standing beside Shinnosuke and his grandfather, dressed in a... a boy's uniform?! 

And the men were wearing... women's clothing? A wedding dress? A policewoman's uniform?! And Ryouga... in a nurse's outfit?! 

And then he noticed the bright tints of color on Ryouga's cheeks and mouth. *Makeup?!* Ranma thought incredulously. And he felt the insane urge to laugh. 

Then Akane snatched the long broom from Shinnosuke's hands and leapt into the air, landing on the monster's head... and Ranma's heart lodged in his throat. In shock, he watched her jump nimbly from head to head, thinking absently that if it weren't for the extreme danger she was in at this moment, he'd have had the presence of mind to admire her lithe grace, her quick movements... 

Then a huge tongue slithered up and grabbed Akane, and she screamed, the sound sending cold tentacles of fear wrapping around his heart, squeezing painfully... 

Ranma hurriedly tore off his backpack, and tensed himself to spring. 

Over to his right, he heard Shinnosuke's grandfather shout, "Akane! The whistle! BLOW!" 

Akane's eyes widened, and she grabbed an object dangling from her neck, lifting it to her mouth... 

The shrill cry of the whistle pierced the air, and a hundred things seemed to happen all at once. The monster's body writhed in the air, its limbs flailing... Akane, still trapped within the monster's mouth, seeming amazingly unfazed... her broom flashing out when she came within reach of the monster's huge head, coming away stained with some green substance from the creature's head... 

Akane flung the broom away in the group's direction, just before the monster hurled her away, screaming... and Shinnosuke's grandfather caught it, shouting Akane's name... Shinnosuke and Ryouga springing into action, leaping into the air, Shinnosuke catching Akane in his arms, as Ryouga was turned into a pig from the water spraying from the monster as it sunk back beneath the waters... 

Shinnosuke landed on the ground and put Akane down on her feet beside him. Then, he turned and grabbed her into his arms, seeming to laugh and cry at the same time... and Akane, laughing joyously, telling him she was all right... 

Watching the scene unfold in front of him, Ranma felt the familiar, heavy feeling settle in his heart. He watched silently as Akane and Shinnosuke broke the embrace, but their hands were still linked... watched, with a kind of detached interest, as Akane looked up at Shinnosuke and smiled, her eyes lighting up with laughter... 

Forcing himself to look away, Ranma picked up his backpack again and slung it on his back, and resumed walking downhill. 

Minutes later, he felt the wind sting his eyes, and he closed his eyes and lifted a hand to rub his face, surprised when his hand came away wet and stained with tears. 

**** 

"Ranma?" 

He heard the door slide open behind him. Silently cursing the train delay which had wasted away so many hours, when he could have been miles away from Nerima at this moment, he tried to ignore the voice, as if hoping that the source of it would go away if he pretended he didn't hear it. 

He forced his hands to still, and he grabbed the nearest shirt and stuffed it into his backpack. He heard footsteps come up behind him. He reached for another shirt. 

He heard her voice again. "Ranma?" 

His hand trembled. Annoyed at his show of weakness, he jerked his hand back. "Yeah?" he said, relieved when his voice came out steady. 

He heard her come up closer beside him, her footsteps light. Her voice sounded soft and hesitant. "Kasumi said you were leaving?" 

He closed his eyes briefly. "Yeah." 

There was a long, awkward pause. "But- but why?" 

*What do you mean, _why_?* Ranma thought inwardly. *I'm leaving 'cause I'm breaking our engagement, because I don't want to have to see you with him again...* 

He took a deep breath. Finally, he turned. Akane was looking at him, her eyes wide with concern. "Why did you come to Ryugenzawa, Ranma?" she asked suddenly. 

He shrugged. "Your dad asked me to." *In a manner of speaking,* he thought, feeling a sudden, irrational impulse to laugh at Soun's theatrics. 

*Man,* he thought suddenly, a heavy feeling settling in his heart, *I am going to miss this family. Kasumi, and even Nabiki and her scams...* 

Akane's voice snapped him back to attention. "Did you leave after I... I... that is, I..." A blush tinted her cheeks prettily. He hated himself for having noticed. 

"After you hit me?" he said finally, keeping the emotion out of his voice. 

"Yes." Her blush deepened. He thought she was feeling embarrassed. He thought again of how cute she looked. 

*AAHHH!* he screamed inwardly. *Get it over with!* 

"Yeah." He turned his back to her, hoping that it would be easier without having to look at her. What was she doing here, anyway? He didn't think she'd come down so soon. 

There was another long pause, and he could almost sense her gathering up the courage for something. When she finally spoke, he knew why. "Did you... I mean, is it because of Shinnosuke?" 

He tensed at the mention of his name, and he cursed himself inwardly for the weakness. Damn, he hadn't counted on this! He'd hoped to be able to leave before she came home. He hadn't wanted to say goodbye, it would have been too hard. 

He heard her let out a breath sharply. "Ranma-" she said, her voice rising. 

"No." The word escaped from his lips. No, he couldn't let her think that. That the thought of her with another man broke his heart into a million tiny pieces, and that the only way he could deal with it was to never see her again. 

"What?" she asked, surprised. He steeled himself to face her again. 

"No," he repeated, looking into her eyes. "Of course not. Why would you think that?" 

She stared at him, her eyes widening. "Ranma..." 

He forced himself not to wilt at the look in her eyes. Taking a deep breath, he summoned the speech he'd prepared in his mind, during the long trip home. 

"I thought about a lot of things, on my way home," Ranma said. "It was high-time we did that, right, Akane? Really sat down and thought about what we really wanted." 

He looked at her, but she just stared at him silently, so he continued, "And I decided I had the right to choose how I want to live my life, who I want to marry. And I wanted all of us to have that freedom. After all, it's not fair to let all you girls to put your lives on hold while waiting for me to make a decision, right?" 

She was still staring at him, her eyes wide, and he wondered inwardly why she was so surprised. After all, he was doing this for her, so that she could be free to be with Shinnosuke. 

He met her gaze again. "I've decided to break the engagements. All of them," he added hastily. 

"All of them?" Akane repeated, her voice a soft whisper. 

"Yeah," he said softly. "Shampoo, and Kodachi, and -" He closed his eyes, sighing heavily, as he thought of another person, another talk he was already dreading. "And Ucchan, too. I owe it to all of you girls, to tell you myself." 

"But why? Why all of a sudden?" 

"It's not all of a sudden," he said quietly. "I've thought about it for a long time. This... it isn't fair, not to any one of us. I have no right to tie you down to me, Akane, not when you - *we* - have always protested our engagement." His voice lowered, and he practically forced the next words out. "And especially not now, when I would get in the way of your happiness with Shinnosuke. I have no right to ask that of you." 

If possible, Akane's eyes widened even more, and her mouth gaped open. Truth be told, Ranma was a little unnerved by her reaction. What, didn't she think he'd be able to figure it out? 

"I'll talk to our dads," he told her. "I'll make it clear it was *my* choice. I'm sure it'll all work out." He started to get up. 

"Wait." He stopped dead at the sound of her voice. Turning slowly, he looked at her again, but Akane had closed her eyes, and she seemed to be breathing heavily. Ranma felt a lump rise in his throat, as he stared at her, knowing that in a few minutes, by his own choice, he'd never see her again. 

But he steeled himself from the doubts, knowing in his heart that this was the right thing to do. What he'd told her was true. He had no right to bind her to him, not when she didn't love him back. Not when he could get in the way of her happiness with someone else. 

So what was family duty and honour, he told himself. All the good reasons in the world wasn't worth a damn when it came to matters of the heart. 

She opened her eyes then, and seemed to gather up the courage to say something. "Ranma, you don't have to leave," she said finally. "I understand about... about everything you said. You're right, it is time we worked out this mess." 

Ranma blinked, surprised. Of all things, it was the last thing he'd expected her to say. "You do?" 

"Yes," she said, her voice rising. "I'll help you talk with our dads - it's only fair. We... we'll tell them we don't want to get married. And then you can work it out with Shampoo and Ukyou and Kodachi. But you don't have to leave," she repeated. "You can still stay here. Nothing has to change. We'll still go to school together, we can be ... we'll just be friends." 

Ranma grew even more confused with every word she spoke. "Friends?" he echoed. What, she didn't think they were friends now? 

"Friends," Akane repeated. "Just friends, without having to worry about rivals, fiancees, pushy parents... In fact, we're already friends now, aren't we?" 

*Ahh,* he thought inwardly, finally understanding. Releasing them from the engagements, thus they would finally be friends, nothing more. But... "Why are you doing this, Akane?" he asked her, softly. 

"You don't have to leave," she insisted. "Our engagements are too much to handle right now - I can accept that. But..." Her voice lowered to a whisper. "Can't you let me hope, that someday... maybe, someday..." She trailed off, as she looked at him, trying to smile, her eyes imploring. 

Was she holding on to their engagements, just because of family duty? He couldn't let her do that. *Oh, Akane,* he thought sadly. *Don't ever settle for anything less than love. You deserve more than that. Much more. How can you ask me to marry you, while clearly knowing that it's not me you really want?* 

He stared back, his eyes infinitely sad. "I... I can't marry you, Akane." 

The smile died on her lips. "Oh." Akane closed her eyes. He thought she was on the verge of tears, and his heart constricted painfully. "I'm sorry." 

"Don't be." She tried to smile at him. "Are you in love with anyone else?" 

"Does it matter?" 

*Not to me,* he replied silently, answering his own question. *There's only ever been you, but you don't love me, Akane...* 

She shook her head. "No. No, of course not. You're right, of course. We should all be free to choose." 

*That's right,* Ranma thought, looking at her. *You should be free to be with the one you love, to be happy...* 

"So," she said, breaking the awkward silence. "I guess this is goodbye." She held out her hand. 

"Goodbye," he repeated. His hand closed around hers, squeezing tightly, knowing that this would be the last time he would ever hold her hand. And then she let go. 

**** 

Finally, he came to Akane. He looked at her, his mind already forming a picture of her, to carry with him for years to come, to remember exactly the way she looked at this moment, the last time he would ever see her. 

The gentle breeze teased her hair gently, and his eyes followed her motions, as she lifted a hand to tuck a lock behind her ear. He thought he'd never seen her as beautiful as she looked now, right at this moment. An unconscious smile touched his lips. 

Finally, he said, "Thank you, Akane." Thank you for everything. There simply wasn't anything else he could say. 

"You're welcome," she whispered softly, looking at him. "Take care." 

"You, too." 

*And be happy,* he added silently. *Please be happy. That's how I want to remember you, the smiling, happy girl I fell in love with...* 

Feeling his resolve weaken, he hurriedly tore his gaze away from her, and then he turned and walked down the street, forcing himself not to turn around for one last look. 

*Goodbye, Akane,* he whispered in his heart. *I loved you. Goodbye.* 

**** 

It had been so easy, to finally be able to admit to himself that he'd loved her. He wondered if it was because it was only then that he'd realized that he loved her. 

After he'd left the Tendo Dojo, he'd gone to work out his fiancee mess with the other girls. He'd thought it best to get it over with as soon as possible. So that he could go on with his life. Although he'd had no idea where to go next, not after spending so many months living with Akane, and believing that he would stay with her forever... 

He'd gone to Ukyou first. Ukyou, with her cheerful smiles and sunny disposition... she was a real friend, and he'd hated himself for hurting her. 

It hadn't gone well. She'd cried and thrown herself in his arms, refusing to give up, especially after knowing that he was breaking all the engagements, including the one with Akane. 

"Please don't leave me, Ranchan," she'd pleaded tearfully. "Let me prove to you that I'm the right girl for you..." 

Ranma knew that there was no way he could ever let her believe that he could love her back, the way she wanted him to. Not when he knew clearly, in his own heart, that there was only one person he'd ever wanted, and he had no idea if he was ever going to be able to forget her. 

He'd gone to Shampoo next. Shampoo, though, had been another matter. She'd alternated between bouts of tears and threats to harm Akane, even after Ranma had told her he was also breaking his engagement to Akane. Cologne, who had been standing behind Ranma, made an attempt to touch Ranma's pressure point, which would have made him collapse in a boneless heap, so that she and Shampoo could take him back to China without a struggle. 

Ranma had seen the movement from the corner of his eye, and he'd reacted quickly, leaping out of the way and grabbing Cologne's outstretched hand, flinging it out of his way. Cologne and Shampoo had been surprised, not expecting him to be able to dodge the attack. 

After that, it had been easy to convince Cologne that he was never going back to China with them, ever. Cologne then decided that Ranma would not make an ideal Amazon husband anyway - he was too strong-willed - and the Amazons left for China the very next day. 

As for Kodachi - Ranma hadn't had the patience or the desire to go straighten out the mess with the Black Rose, which he thought was neither his nor his father's fault in the first place anyway. 

He'd left Tokyo the very next day. His destination - unknown. But Ranma figured he'd find a place where he might belong again... someday. And if he was lucky, maybe he'd even be able to forget about her. Someday... 

**** 

"Really? So where have you been all this time?" 

Ranma shrugged, as he finished off the last of his rice. "All over," he mumbled, his mouth full. "A really, really long training trip." 

His companion poked at the bonfire with a short, thick branch. "Don't you have any family who will miss you?" 

Ranma felt a brief pang of sadness. "I'd never met my mom." *Not in my true form, anyway,* he added silently. 

He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "And your father?" 

"He understood." Ranma leaned forward and put down his bowl and chopsticks beside his backpack. "My entire life has actually been one long training trip." 

"Hmm?" The old man's forehead wrinkled in a frown. "I thought you were alone." 

"I meant before," Ranma explained. He leaned back and folded his arms under his head. "My pop took me from my mother when I was a little kid. He dragged me all over Japan to train me in the Art." 

"Ah." 

Ranma stared at the twinkling stars above him. Sometimes, he'd look up at the stars and think of her, and it had always given him a strange sense of comfort. That no matter how far away he was from her, they could still look up at the same sky, and wish upon the same stars. 

"It eventually stopped," he said suddenly. "The training trip. After we came back from China-" 

"China?!" 

"Yep, China," Ranma replied, smiling briefly. "After that, Pop dragged me to a friend's house, to honor the arrangement he'd made with that friend sixteen years ago." 

"Hmm." The old man smiled. "A martial arts challenge?" 

"Nope." Ranma shook his head. "Marriage." 

"An arranged marriage?" He chuckled. "I didn't know those things still existed." 

"They do. At least, they did." Ranma's eyes lit up at the memory. "My fiancee... we didn't hit it off right away. There was a long time when we both protested strongly against our forced engagement." 

The old man smiled knowingly. "And then it - ah, how do they say it - gradually grew on you?" 

Ranma smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "She didn't love me." 

"She broke it off?" 

Ranma shook his head. "I broke our engagement. I let her go." He closed his eyes. "That was five years ago." 

"I'm sorry." Ranma wondered briefly why people did that, saying sorry like it was their fault. Like those two simple words were supposed to assuage the grief in his heart. 

He shrugged. "It was a long time ago." 

"Ah, but time has nothing to do with it." The old man smiled. "Some things, you remember forever..." 

Ranma closed his eyes. He was afraid of the same thing. 

"...and some things," he continued, his voice soft, "you regret forever." 

Ranma felt a strange foreboding creep up his gut. "What do you mean?" 

"Perhaps this is the reason for the strange kinship I've felt with you, since we met each other two days ago," the old man explained. "Perhaps it's because of the similar experiences we both share." 

Ranma frowned. "I don't understand." 

He smiled briefly. "I'm an old man. I've lived a long, full life. Even if I were to die in my sleep tonight, I would be content." He fell silent for a moment. "But what would life be without regrets? There are some things I wish I could go back and do again, even to this day." 

He smiled then, lost in his memories. "The three of us, we grew up together - Hikou, my best friend in the entire world. And... her. My fiancee, my future bride." 

His smile faded. "But she told me she couldn't marry me. And I... I thought it was because she loved Hikou. She... she was kneeling in front of me, sobbing, telling me she was sorry... Overcome with rage, I didn't even let her explain. I just ran away, like a coward. 

"It had been raining for two whole days," he remembered. "The houses in the lower parts of the valley were already being swept away by the floods. By the end of the day, the flood was upon us. It... swept away everything," he said hoarsely. "The houses, the people. My family. And... her. But Hikou..." His voice lowered to a bare whisper. "I killed him myself." 

Ranma sat up straighter, his eyes wide with surprise. He started to say something, but the old man went on. 

"We were fighting over her. It was raining so hard... Then the ground crumbled underneath him and he would have been washed away by the floods, but I grabbed his hand. At that moment, I'd forgotten everything - the pain of their betrayal, the anger and resentment burning in my heart. Right then, it was only the two of us, and all I knew was I had to save him, my best friend. 

"I didn't even see it... the thick branch that swam towards me, its edge sharp and jagged... I felt a sharp pain in my left eye, and I... I..." 

He bowed his head, his eyes hidden by the dark glasses. "And I let go of his hand. He was washed down the river, screaming my name." He paused, breathing slowly. "And eight years later, he came back, resurrected as a demon god, to get revenge on me for killing him." 

He looked at Ranma. "Demons and giant floods. You probably don't believe me." 

Ranma smiled. "I do. You've got the right person." 

"Hikou... he tried to kill me and my friends." The old man's gaze was faraway. "But I'd vowed to myself that I wouldn't let him die again. I couldn't. I would release him from the evil god's spell, even if I died trying. And together, we will go be with her. The three of us, together again." 

He paused. "He died. But I lived. I had released him from the dark magic, and before he died, he... he told me all he'd done was to steal a kiss, because he was jealous and he loved her too, but she didn't love him, and she was so virtuous that, after kissing him, she'd felt soiled and unfit to be my bride..." 

He shook his head. "And I let them both die. The two people I'd loved most in the entire world... I lost them both in one day. And Hikou... I killed him myself. Twice." He sighed heavily. 

"I've found a lot of peace during my travels for the past years," he continued. "But there are still some nights when I lie awake, weighed down by memories of the past. If I could do just one thing differently..." He trailed off, taking off his glasses and rubbing a hand over his eyes. Ranma waited patiently. 

"I loved them," he said finally. "Both of them. That was why it had hurt so much. But even so..." He turned to Ranma, his eyes sad, and Ranma stared at the thin white line that slashed across his left eye. 

"This scar is the only reminder I have left of them. Even though Hikou no longer blamed me for killing him... I shall carry the memory of it until the day I die," he finished. "Maybe even longer." 

They finally lapsed into silence for a long time, as Ranma pondered his words. In a way, he could see where he was coming from. Loving someone that much, and then finding out that she didn't love him back... Ranma sighed, as he rubbed his eyes wearily. 

"Do you understand, boy?" the old man said suddenly. "Sometimes, even the simplest choice you make can change everything and everyone around you. And if it ended up destroying everything you love..." He shook his head tiredly. "You will carry the burden of that for the rest of your life." 

Ranma felt a strange foreboding creeping up his spine. "But how do you know if you're doing the right thing?" 

He smiled wryly. "Ah, but that's the dilemma now, isn't it?" 

"I understand what you're trying to say," Ranma said slowly. "It was the easiest conclusion to make. And if the flood hadn't come and washed everyone away..." He paused, struggling for the right words. 

The old man nodded. "I would have wanted them both to be happy, even if at the cost of my own." 

"I know how that feels," Ranma said softly. "Even though you can't bear to let her go, in your heart you know it's the right thing to do." 

"Only I was wrong," he whispered softly. "She had never betrayed me, but I let her go. I let her *die*." 

He replaced the glasses on the bridge of his nose. "I thought my life had ended that day. Maybe it had. I left the village and drifted from place to place, without desire or purpose. Many years later, I'd finally found a semblance of peace. I'd met and made new friends, who gave my life a new meaning. When Hikou came to kill me eight years later, it was for these friends that I fought him again, vowing that I could never let anyone die again. I'd already seen so much death. Too much." 

He smiled sadly at Ranma. "Those were the days. We were all so young and vibrant, so full of life. It is only with age that wisdom comes, and when you grow old, it is my wish for you that you should not lie awake in your bed haunted by dreams of the past. As I do." 

Deep into the night, long after the old man had fallen asleep, Ranma lay awake in his tent, staring at the canvas ceiling. The old man's words echoed in his mind. 

He'd loved Akane with all his heart, believed that he would spend the rest of his life with her. But she'd loved another man. And even more than he'd loved her, he had wanted her to be happy. So he'd let her go, believing it was the right thing to do. 

But what if it was the wrong thing? 

For five years, the doubts had continued to whisper relentlessly in his mind, and the voices grew stronger with each passing year. He had never asked Akane if she really did love Shinnosuke... what if she hadn't? 

The possibilities were frightening, but he'd tried to shut them out. Because he refused to consider the possibility that he'd done the wrong thing. Because he was... scared beyond all reason. 

For the past five years, he'd travelled all over Japan, visiting training grounds and honing his martial arts skills whenever he could. But mostly, he'd just drifted aimlessly from one place to another, like a lost soul. 

He'd learned a lot of things, met a lot of people, in the past five years. A lot of women. Each time, he'd hoped in his heart that it was finally time to move on. Time to put the past behind him, and start building a new future. 

But she was always there, always in his heart and in his mind, and even after all these years, he could not find the strength to betray her. And no other girl he'd met could ever measure up to the image of her he kept in his heart. 

In his darkest moments, he still wondered what would have happened if he had chosen a different path. He had given up all chances of a future with her - had it really been worth it? 

But she hadn't loved him, he reminded himself. And it didn't matter that he wandered on aimlessly, day after day, feeling like the rocks beside the ocean - year after year, a piece of him was slowly washed away. Never mind that there was a hollowness inside of him that he knew could never be filled. The sacrifice of his own happiness was for the sake of the one person he loved the most. As long as Akane was happy. 

But if he was wrong... what reason would he have to go on now, in this meaningless existence, if the very purpose of his life turned out to be a horrible mistake? 

By the time morning came, Ranma was still lying awake in his bed, his mind overwhelmed with possibilities, each more staggering than the last. But at last, for the first time in the past five years, he knew what he had to do. 

**** 

Ranma opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. The train swayed gently as it sped along the tracks, bringing him closer to his destination. To a place he had avoided for the past five years, but now he was finally coming back. He was coming home. 

Funny how he still thought about it that way. He was twenty-one years old. He'd spent almost twenty years on the road, wandering from one place to another. He'd lived in Nerima for only a few months, but it was the longest period of time that he'd spent in a single place. 

And it was the only real home he'd had in his entire life. 

Home. That was where you had family and friends, where you have a feeling of... of *rightness*, that this is where you should be, where you belonged. 

Only one place fit that description in his heart: the Tendo dojo. 

Akane. 

She was what made everything worth it. She'd brought peace and happiness into his life. And he'd thrown all of it away. Chased after a dream for five whole years, thinking that he could find another place where he might belong again, feel *alive* again, only to look back now, five years later, to realize that the only place he'd ever really wanted to be was by her side, for the rest of his life. 

It was stupid, he knew. Five years ago, he'd breezed in through the door and told her he was breaking their engagement, without even letting her have a say in the matter. He'd left her life as abruptly as he'd entered it. 

And now, here he was again, coming back to a place he hadn't seen in five years, chasing after a wild dream, hoping against hope that... 

No, Ranma reminded himself firmly. He refused to set himself up for more disappointment. Even if he had done the wrong thing - even if she really *had* loved him - five years was a long time. For all he knew, maybe she was already married, with a family and kids of her own. And he would be nothing more than a reminder of a painful past. 

Maybe she even hated him for leaving her like that five years ago. He couldn't blame her if she did. 

But his talk with the old man had made one thing clear: he would never make any peace with himself until he laid his ghosts to rest. As it was now, he felt like his life was put on hold, his entire future hanging in the balance of what he might discover here. 

Akane... had she been real? Had she been *his*? Or was she just an image of a perfect girl he'd created in his heart? 

If he'd been right - or even if he *had* been wrong, but as long as Akane was happy and content right now - maybe then he could let go of the insane hope in his heart that continued to burn brightly, even after all these years. Maybe he could finally move on with his life and not compare any girl he met with Akane, knowing that he couldn't ever have her. Maybe he could finally have peace with himself, knowing that all he'd done was worth it. 

He wouldn't have long to wait. Above him, a voice announced over the loudspeakers that the train was entering the Nerima station. Ranma stood and took up his backpack from the floor, shouldering it with familiar ease. 

The train slowed to a stop, and the doors slid open. Ranma stepped off the cab, his hand tugging idly at a strap on his bag. 

Five years ago, he'd also left Nerima through this station. He'd bought a ticket and hopped on a train, not caring where it took him. As long as it was somewhere far and away from Nerima... 

Ranma felt like he was one of those men who'd been stranded in the middle of an ocean for weeks, and now, he was finally coming home. Deep inside, a part of him had waited for this moment for five years. 

Everything looked just the same. The air in the underground station was cool and smelled a little dank, just as he remembered. Slivers of light flitted through the roof, like thin beams of sunlight from the sky just before the clouds parted after a storm. 

Ranma paused in front of a picture of the Tokyo Tower. He'd lived here half a year, but he had never been to the tower. This time, he told himself, he'd see it before he left. 

Maybe he could even go see it with Akane... 

*Aww, shaddap,* he thought, mentally smacking himself, as he turned to go. *Already told ya not to hope -* 

Then, as if the thought of her summoned her presence... a picture of blue-black hair and warm brown eyes flashed in Ranma's mind, and he stopped, turning sharply... 

And the world skidded to an abrupt halt. 

People continued to move around him. Once, someone bumped against his shoulder roughly, and he took a couple of steps, moving away from the crowd. His hand slipped inside his pocket and gripped at his pants pocket tightly, a nervous habit he'd developed during the past few years. 

He stared, his eyes unbelieving. And yet, there she was. Dressed in a soft, yellow-print sundress, she looked exactly as he remembered her. Short dark hair, tossing in the wind, brown eyes sparkling with laughter... 

After five years of longing, five years of fragile hopes and dreams, she was finally there, standing right in front of him. 

*Akane, did you love me?* He wanted to shout the question, to fling all propriety and common sense into the air, not caring about anything except her answer to that one question. *Let me know, so I can finally figure out what to do with the rest of my life.* 

The loud sound of a horn pierced the air, and Ranma whipped around, his eyes widening. All of a sudden, the buzz of people around him grew steadily in volume, and Ranma turned sharply, gaping at the train which was coming into the station from the other side, slowly coming to a stop, in front of... 

"Akane!" 

Beside him, an elderly matron jumped in surprise. People standing beside him turned around to glare at him, but Ranma just craned his neck, straining to catch another glimpse of her... 

And then he stopped dead, his mind careening as it came to another realization - that was *Akane's* train! And she was probably getting on the train right now, and then it was going to leave, and he was going to... 

Run. 

And so he ran, dodging past people with the skill and familiarity of five years ago, when he would dash through the streets of Nerima, with two or three psychotic martial artists fast at his heels... once or twice, he'd crash into another man's shoulder, sending the other person stumbling over his own feet. He threw back a quick shout of apology, as he continued running, and then taking the stairs two steps at a time. 

Crossing the huge lobby, he darted to the other end of the train station, his heart beating a furious rhythm in his ears. He raced down the steps, working his way through groups of people. Finally, he stepped onto the opposite platform just as the train started to leave, speeding steadily down the tracks. 

Panic started to grip his heart. Maybe she'd already left, gotten on that train and sped out of his life, just as he'd walked out of hers five years ago... 

"Akane!" he shouted, his steps quickening. He moved quickly through the throngs of people, his eyes darting anxiously from face to face, tension mounting inside him with each second. "Akane!" People were starting to look at him. 

Just then, his eyes caught a glimpse of blue-black hair, and he skidded to a stop. He started to call her name again, but then he saw her shoulders stiffen, and then rise and fall as she breathed sharply, as if she'd felt his presence behind her. Then, with deliberate slowness, she turned around. 

His gaze swept lovingly over her features - her short hair, ruffling gently in the lightly blowing wind. Her eyes wide and unbelieving, as she stared right back at him. 

There were so many things to say. Too many. All through the long trip, he'd prepared a short speech for exactly this moment, when he'd finally see her again. But now she was standing right in front of him, and he couldn't remember a single damned word. 

But even so, he knew that there was no other place he would rather be at that moment, than right there beside her. And as he looked into her shadowed eyes, Ranma was sure that he'd done the wrong thing in letting her go, five years ago. 

It was like a great burden released from his shoulders. As much as he was ashamed of it, in his darkest moments, he had longed for this exact same thing. 

Because now, he'd finally have a chance. And this time, come hell or high water, he was going to make it up to her. He would set it right. 

His heart swelling with joy, he smiled at her, a smile full of promise and hope. 

"Hello, Akane." 

*** The End ***

**** 

Author's notes: 

This fanfic is in draft mode only. 

This second instalment of "The Long Goodbye" was inspired by another song by Westlife, entitled "What Makes A Man." 

Okay, you guessed it. The old man is a modern-day version of "Houjun," or better known as Chichiri, of the seven star warriors of Suzaku. There, my secret's out. Yes, I did watch Fushigi Yuugi. =) My adaptation of the story of Houjun/Chichiri was entirely based on the FY OAV2, however, as I have never read the FY Manga. And as you noticed, I replaced Chichiri's smiley-face mask with dark sunglasses. 

Certain passages in this story are inspired by the ff. works: "What I was Once," by Alan Harnum; "The Shadow Chronicles," by Mark MacKinnon; "Hearts of Ice," by Krista Perry; "Perfect," by Judith McNaught. "Atlantis: The Lost Empire," Disney's latest movie. And some lines are translated from the Chinese series "Cold Blood Warm Heart." 

Now, comments about the story. I got a lot of comments from Part 1 about the ending being too easy. I hope you don't think that. It is in no way easy - five years have passed, and a lot of things have changed, even if Ranma and Akane still feel the same for each other. Ranma, for his part, has a LOT of explaining to do. And who knows what Akane will do? 

"Fate only takes you so far, and you have to do the rest on your own." - Can't Hardly Wait. 

I have always meant for this story to end here (ie. to have them meet again) and I leave them both to work out everything else by themselves, and I have every faith that they will. =P I do not think I will be writing any sequel (part 3) since this will ruin the overall "tone" of the story, which, in case you didn't get it, was inspired by the ff. lyrics in the song "My Love" quoted in part 1: 

"So I say a little prayer, and hope my dreams will take me there,   
where the skies are blue, to see you once again, my love.   
Over seas and coast to coast, to find the place I love the most,   
where the fields are green, to see you once again, my love." 

Hope you all enjoyed reading this story. As always, any and all C&C are welcome.   
  
****   
  
WHAT MAKES A MAN - by Westlife   
  
This isn't goodbye.  
Even as I watch you leave,  
This isn't goodbye.  
I swear I won't cry.   
Even as tears fill my eyes,  
I swear I won't cry.  
  
Any other girl I'd let you walk away.  
Any other girl I'm sure I'd be okay.  
  
Tell me what makes a man,  
Wanna give you all his heart.  
To smile when you're around,  
And cry when you're apart.  
If you know what makes a man,  
Wanna love you the way I do.  
Girl, you gotta let me know,  
So I can get over you.  
  
What makes her so right?  
Is it the sound of her laugh,  
That look in her eyes?  
When do you decide?  
She is the dream that you seek  
That force in your life?  
  
When you apologize   
No matter who was wrong.  
And you get on your knees   
if that would bring her home.  
  
Tell me what makes a man  
Wanna give you all his heart.  
To smile when you're around  
Or cry when you're apart.  
If you know what makes a man,  
Wanna love you the way I do.  
Girl, you gotta let me know  
So I can get over you.  
  
Other girls will come along,  
They always do.  
But what's the point when all I ever   
Want is you...  
  
  


   [1]: mailto:stiffanie@mailcity.com
   [2]: http://www.angelfire.com/sd/Ranmafanfic/



End file.
